|
|
| A Bit of Mothering I’ve wanted a baby since I was fourteen. Finally, here I am with my little man. I love him so much. Look at him. I mean really look at him - he’s perfect, just like his dad. I can’t believe he’s been here already a week. He’s taken well to the bottle. The first few days he wouldn’t have none of it. Scream the place down he did. Now, you should see him guzzle it - right little piglet. I’m so lucky he’s started sleeping most of the day. I put him in his cot and he’s off. Don't hear a peep out of him for hours. Shame he don’t feel the same about it in the middle of the night. Oh well, you cant have it all ways my nan used to say. Nan was always right. Mind you, I don’t care about him crying in the night - I sleep when he sleeps. Rock him and sing lullabies when he’s bawling, same as mum did with me. Well, so she says. I love being Brandon’s mum.
Please don’t look around too closely. Yeah, yeah, I can see clothes and dirty nappies everywhere. What’s the matter with the odd used cup? Haven't you heard trying to get organised with a baby is a nightmare? Like I said I try and sleep when he does. I keep meaning to do the washing up but as long as his bottles are sterilized, it doesn’t matter does it? If mum came round she’d say I was living in filthy squalor but that’s unlikely since she don't know where I am. I was sick to death of her nagging me. Take your pills Roxanne. Don't do that Roxanne. Do this. Only so much one person can take you know. I don’t see anyone since Anthony left me for that bitch so who cares if the flat is untidy? Although I must do some washing later, I’m running out of clean knickers.
Did I tell you about before Brandon came along. I made sure there were enough nappies and milk to last me weeks. Clever eh? I knew I wouldn’t see the outside for some time. The trouble with living in a high rise block you tend to avoid going out unless necessary. The lifts rarely work, and I didn’t fancy carrying a baby up and down twelve flights of stairs through the graffiti, urine and needles littered everywhere. Would you?
I think he looks like Anthony. He’s got same nose and his eyes are the same blue. I read in a book that the eyes change, but I’m sure his will stay the same. He don't know I've got him. Nobody does - it’s just Brandon and me against the world.
I wish to hell they’d leave me alone. I can hear them knocking again. It’s probably that stupid bitch across the hall. I've been ignoring it all morning. They’ll get the hint in the end. I just shut the hall door and put the TV up to drown it out.
He’s been good today, sleeping loads. What do think of his outfit? How cute does he look? I love the little monkey on his front - just like him. I call him my little monkey. It’s much better than the one I brought him back from the hospital in. Only the best for my little man. You should see these little boots I have and the socks are so dinky. I bought so much stuff for him, it's in those bin bags over there. He's worth it.
Look at the little man, he’s waking again. I love it when he yawns then opens his eyes. Is it any wonder with all the noise at the door. Shut up will you - shut up. Let me pick him up - before he gets too upset. Stop now chicken, you’re not due for a feed yet, you can stop that snuffling with your mouth. It's great when he does that. Just like your daddy wanting more food.
I saw him crying on the telly last week. His dad that is. Crocodile Tears the pair of them. She’s nothing but a cheap slapper. How the hell can that tart look after a baby? She can barely look after herself. I heard she's on crack. Dirty druggie. She could never love Brandon the way I do. How can she? She only knew him for a day. I was meant to have him, that’s why taking him from the hospital was so easy. What do you think of this then? I'd been working for the cleaning company for years. One day last summer I recognised Anthony at the ante-natal clinic. It all clicked into place. It was just a case of waiting. Huh, that was Gods will. Nobody looks twice at a cleaner.
Just look at him and look at me. You can see I was destined to be his mum. He’s mine and nobody will ever take him from me. Will they my gorgeous little boy? Will they? | |
|