The Girl Upstairs
Thursday was bin-man day. This meant I had to carefully manoeuvre my over-flowing wheelie bin out of the back gate and into the lane at the back of my flat. That’s when it happened; call it fate if you will.
There in front of me was the most beautiful sight my eyes had ever taken in. Alone, vulnerable and yet controlling me. My jaw dropped, my temperature began to rise. My cheeks flushed as I stared in amazement at this delicate form that floated in front of me.
Closing the door quickly behind me, I stood with my back pressed against it. The cold linoleum floor chilled my bare feet but helped to bring down my temperature. I had to meet her, not today though. My eyes would betray me as soon as we looked at one and other.
I opened the refrigerator and grabbed for a cold can of Stella. I don’t know when she moved in, but the girl upstairs was going to be mine. Was she single? Was she just visiting? Or was she my new neighbour? I hoped with all my heart it was the latter.
The rest of the day was wasted; I sat in silence listening to her gentle stride on the upstairs floorboards. The last time I counted I was on my eighth can, this was normal but not without music. I prepared a large line of cocaine on the glass coffee table in my living room. I was going to have to knock on her door and this was going to help me.
The crisp rolled twenty that I held in my hand found its own way to my nostril. My body was on autopilot. A long line of white powder now stared at me; I closed my eyes and pushed the note along the trail. The powder scratched at the skin of my nose as it went on its familiar journey. My eyes rolled a little as the substance made its way down my throat. I licked my forefinger and thumb and wiped them against my nose to remove any powder that clung there. Then licking them clean I fell back in the chair.
I was getting aroused thinking about her, my mind throwing up different scenarios. Like the one where she knocked on my door to borrow some coffee and I took her right there in the doorway. Ripping her clothes from her in full view of the neighbours. Or the one where she has a leaky tap and asks me to come and look at it. Then we partake in her schoolgirl fantasy, where she is the student and I the teacher.
The telephone rings
I know it’s her on the other end of the line, how did she get my number? My blood pressure is rising, as is something else. I lift the receiver and speak in a slow deliberate tone…
“Hello…Will speaking.”
“What the fuck sort of voice is that? You been on the fucking beer already you mad sod?”
That’s my mate Dave. Dave is a twat, but he’s a nice twat. We’ve been mates for years, whenever I’m off work we go on all day drinking sessions. Today is one of those days.
“Oh. It’s you. How’s it going mate? You coming up to see me or what?”
“Course I am you mad bastard, I told you last night. I was on the phone...remember? You are pissed aren’t you?”
“I’ve had a few, never mind that though get up here fast.”
With that I slammed down the phone. Dave could help me formulate a plan to entice this beauty. I decided to take a shower to freshen up, after all it was only midday and I was a bit pissed.
A little tip for any non-users of drugs. If you ever take cocaine, have it after you have a shower not before. My skin was red raw when I got out. Just couldn’t stop fucking scrubbing. The doorbell rings so I wrap a towel around myself and go to let Dave in.
Just as I’m about to open the door the thought enters my mind that it might be her. Quickly I fondle myself, increasing the size by two and the girth with it. Then I pull my towel tight around me so that she will get the full effect of my feelings for her. I pull open the door…
“What the fuck are you thinking of? Fancy opening the door with a fucking great hard-on. What if I had been your Mother, she would have had a fucking heart attack you daft shite. Get the fuck inside; people will think we’re fucking puffs.”
It was Dave at the door after all, and he would now want to know what was going on. Dave barged into the living room and looked straight down at the table.
“You dodgy fucker, you’ve been hammering the beer and coke all morning.”
“No, I haven’t…that’s my first line.” My voice was shaky.
Dave looked at the lump in my towel and started to laugh
“You must have been having one of the wrist were you mate? Sorry to spoil your party.”
Dave started to knock up another couple of lines from the opened wrap of coke. He snorted his and then looked at me.
“Here you go then, if you’ve only had one you’ll want another no doubt?”
He passed me the twenty and headed to the fridge where he grabbed a four-pack of cans. He dived backwards into the reclining chair and cracked open one of the cans, tossing me one after his first gulp.
“For fucks sake, will you go and put some pants on you perverted bastard. I don’t want to look at your midget dick all day.”
“Fuck you Dave, I got more than your mother could swallow, ask her?” I said making a sharp exit to the bedroom as a can bounced off the wall behind me.
By the time I returned dressed in jeans and my favourite shirt, Dave was on his second can and had made a fair dint in my little cocaine pyramid. I grabbed another quick line and sat down on the settee opposite him.
“So what’s with the early morning drinking session matey? Had some bad news or what?”
I looked hard at Dave, should I tell him about the girl upstairs? Would he just take the piss? Or even worse would he go charging out and knock on her door?
“I think I’m in love.”
Dave spurted the beer from his overfull mouth.
“You fucking what? How the fuck can you be in love? The nearest you’ve been to a woman lately is sitting next to your Mother at the dinner table on a Sunday.”
“No, you don’t understand. There’s a new girl living upstairs, I’m in love with her. It happened this morning; I was putting the bin out when…”
“Fuck off you stupid twat. Love at first sight and all that, you must be fucking joking. What does she look like?”
“I don’t know that’s the thing. I’ve never seen her.”
“Hahahahahaha I’ve heard love is blind but this is fucking ridiculous. What do you mean you’ve never seen her? How can you be in love if you’ve never seen the fucka?”
I stood up and crossed the room to the window that faced into the back yard. I beckoned Dave towards me; he stood up unwillingly and stood by me as I gazed out of the window.
“There you go, how could you not fall in love with her?” I pointed out the window.
Dave looked out into the back yard and then turned and looked at me.
“You mean to tell me you are in love with the girl upstairs because of that?”
I nodded my head as I turned and looked back out of the window. It just floated there gently in the breeze. A beautiful pink, silky thong. It had the most intricate lace flower at the back; it just took my breath away. I turned back towards Dave with a stupid smile on my face. My world had changed because of a pair of knickers on a washing line. Dave could tell I was serious and he began to look at me with growing despair.
“Dave, the owner of that thong will one day be my wife.”
He bent down and snorted another line of coke. I joined him and then we sat and formed our plan of attack. For the rest of the day we sat drinking and laughing about my future bride.
Of course she never did become my wife, well not yet anyway. But we have lived together for five years and we do have two children!
(c) Will Diamond 2008